Making your business (and yourself) LGBTQ+ inclusive
It’s 2020 and you would think we have figured some of these things out! Buuuut we need HELP! I need help. There are so many things that I just automatically do - and I need to stop. Here are some ways for you wedding vendors/wedding photographers to check in with yourselves to make sure that you are truly excited about ALL the love stories. And if you are conflicting religious beliefs and are feeling like it goes against your personal convictions to shoot a same sex wedding. Stop it. You are most likely missing out on meeting an awesome couple. OR send them my way! Ha.
Your contract. I used to have a spot for the bride to sign and the groom to sign. Ugh. Then I got my first same sex couple and realized it needed to change. I refer to the couple as the “clients” in the contract and you can say client one and client two. Party one/Party two. Or write out their full names for each contract, which is easy.
Timeline and over all referring to the party people. Traditionally (fuck tradition) all of the groomsmen and bridesmaids are referred to as the “bridal party.” But we could just refer to it as “wedding party.” Also I love when the bride has her brother or best guy friend standing with her and vice versa. Or maybe someone goes by “they.” Let’s change the stereotype that bridesmaids need to be female and groomsmen need to be male. We could just call them all “Friends of Honor.” I am working on referring to the sides as - something non-gender. Emily’s crew. Or Jeff’s peps. “I need ‘team Hannah’ over here for photos.” “Have you guys seen ‘Sean’s squad’?” “Didn’t ‘Paula’s posse’ look dope.” Ok - I working on it! Ha. Just don’t use “tribe” please.
Contact info. Most vendors have a contact sheet for the couple to fill out and if yours still says “Bride’s name” and “Groom’s name.” Let’s start here. Stop reading this blog and change your site. You can change it to say: Names.
Family. Before going into the wedding day I usually ask about any deaths, divorce or other drama I should know about. Families are hard and I don’t want to put anyone (including myself) in an awkward situation. Another thing we could ask - even just to normalize it and become more consciously aware - is if anyone is non-binary or prefers to go by “they.” Perhaps we should ask for pronouns in the contact section as well.
You do you. This is YOUR wedding. So if you are a woman marrying a man and you don’t like the idea of him waiting for you at the end of the isle. Maybe you want to walk down together. Or make a half circle and meet in the middle. Did you know that you can do that? Did you know that if you are a woman waiting for a man to ask you to marry him - you could just say something. That you could have a conversation - and make him aware that maybe you would like to propose. Or maybe it’s a decision that you make TOGETHER. So no one is waiting and not in the know. There could still be a surprise element. A lot of times (especially small weddings) when there isn't a wedding planner - we become the wedding planner. So let’s not always assume things should go traditionally.
Name change. I think about my same-sex couples that I am friends with. And I am so curious about how they decided certain things. Like walking down the aisle and proposing. It turns out they had to have a fucking conversation. Instead of assuming things. They say - "hey - would you want to keep your last name? Or share the same last name? Should we both take mine or both take yours? Or something completely different? Or maybe a hyphen, although I don’t know what our great grandkids names will be when we all start hyphen-ing.)
Let’s get creative people!